It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of winning, to focus on the end goal and forget about the journey that leads us there. But today, I want to remind you that the journey itself is just as important, if not more important, than the destination.
Practice is what makes us great. It’s what allows us to hone our skills and refine our craft. When we practice, we learn, we grow, and we improve. We become better versions of ourselves, and that is something that no trophy or accolade can ever replace. Winning happens in months or years, practice happens today, every day, so by focusing and enjoying the practice, you live in the moment, you are present today, you get to enjoy what you have today and appreciate it for what it is.
Society wants us to be the best, to come out on top, to be recognized for our achievements today. Society gets easily bored when we practice, when we fail and when we spend time honing our skills.
I remember when I onboarded on a journey to go for a second bachelor’s degree in a field that I knew nothing about but wanted to learn everything about. I followed what society told me about degree completions and wanted to get done with the degree in the next four years. The first two years were the most miserable times for me. I had great expectations, I wanted to be able to take 16 college credits each semester just like everyone else. In hindsight, I was insane. I had two toddlers at home, I was a full-time employee, and I had a house and bills to pay. Why on earth, I thought I could do this?
Simple, I was only focused on winning, the type that society dictates to us, I was missing the point entirely. When we miss the point, we risk losing sight of the fact that the real prize is the sense of fulfillment and accomplishment that comes from putting in the work that we enjoy, that we are passionate about and seeing the results. Unfortunately, many of us fail pray of society’s version of winning and as a result, we give up before we accomplish anything. Because society wants us to succeed yesterday, we feel like a failure when we are taking too long to master any craft and we jump to the next big thing with a hope to do that better and we get stuck in that vicious circle. We compare what the next person has accomplish and we call ourselves failure. What we forget is that we were not privy to that person’s circumstances. So, as you may have guess, I quit school midway and gave up because it was too difficult.
Society definition of wins are set by different standards from your reality. So, today I urge you to forget about winning as society defines it. Focus instead on the process, on the day-to-day work that will ultimately lead you to where you want to be. Practice your craft, embrace the challenges and the setbacks, and keep your eyes on the prize of personal growth and development.
The following steps are what works for me, not what society dictates, not what others think I should call success, but my own. I quit school and was away for two semesters. During this time, I read and one of the books that I stumbled upon was the “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey. After I read this book, I questioned all my unhappy moments, I started to look closely at my goals. I went back to the drawing board as the saying goes. I realized that my passion was correct, that is what I wanted to do, but my timeline was wrong. I was setting myself a timeline that society set for me.
The first step is to write down your goals and associate a clear and realistic timeline to each one. Writing down your goals not only helps you to remember them, but it also gives you a clear roadmap to follow. Make sure your goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART). This will help you stay on track and avoid getting distracted by other things. Please notice how I say “YOUR” goal. Not the one you set out to do because of what society tricked you to believe you wanted to accomplish. If you have one set already, please revisit it and ensure to remove any society’s bias out of it.
How would you know if your goal has society bias, all you need to get the answer is to watch how you feel when you think of that goal. Does it excite you? Does the thought of it coming to life put a big smile on your face, then that is your goal or call it passion.
Once you are sure that you have found that thing, visualize it first and imagine it becoming reality. Visualization is a powerful tool that can help you stay focused. Visualize yourself achieving your goals and experiencing the joy and satisfaction that comes with it. Nothing like a visualization game to get yourself going. Visualizing everything becoming reality gives you boost, and makes you wants to get there as fast as you can.
In the world of athletics, we often hear about athletes who rise to the top through consistent practice and commitment to their craft. For example, Michael Jordan, widely regarded as one of the greatest basketball players of all time, was known for his relentless work ethic and dedication to practice. Despite his immense natural talent, he famously said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and repeatedly in my life and that is why I succeed.” I’m sure society was quick to forget about his many failures because that is not what it wanted. To Michael, these failures were learning moments about how to be better at the one thing that he is passionate about.
The third step is to hold yourself accountable. This means that you should reward yourself for each small accomplishment and hold yourself accountable for any pitfall. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they are, and learn from your failures. This will help you stay motivated and avoid getting discouraged when things don’t go as planned. My personal motivation on this matter is Thomas Edison famous saying that goes, “I didn’t fail, I found 10,000 ways not to make a light bulb”. I keep this quote close to my heart to remind myself to give myself a chance to fail. Not trying is not an option. I can fail multiple times and learn how not to do something, but not trying because I’m afraid to fail is no longer something I partake in. When I fall short however, because of my carelessness of because I was negligent, this I must acknowledge and take responsibility.
The fourth step is to put trust and uplifting into yourself. Believe in your abilities and trust that you can achieve your goals. Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you and avoid those who bring you down. This will help you stay positive and motivated, even in the face of challenges and setbacks.
Lastly, never underestimate yourself. Believe that you have the skills, knowledge, and abilities to achieve your goals. Don’t let fear or self-doubt hold you back. Instead, use them as fuel to push yourself to do better and achieve more.
I had the best years of my re-school years after implementing these steps. I opened, and I stopped worrying so much about the degree or diploma itself. I enjoyed learning from my classmates and teachers, who taught me to listen to them for more than just their lectures. I inquired about their approach to teaching. In a different way, I connected with my classmates and teachers. For me, school was no longer about getting a degree. I’m glad I did because when I graduated, we had no commencement. If I had waited for the degree, I would have been miserable, but because I stopped focusing on the degree and instead enjoyed the process, I had the best time of my life.
Finally, let me tell you that allowing society to define success for you will only lead to an endless unhappy life because once you achieve the success that society desired, it will leave you empty, and you will need to move on to the next thing that society desired.
Find your true passion, write down your goals, visualize them becoming a reality, hold yourself accountable, believe in yourself, and never underestimate your abilities.
Life Lessons 
Leave a comment